Click on the image above to listen to my conversation about my book, Iron Man Family Outing, with Dr. Chris Blazina on his BlogTalkRadio show The Secret Lives of Men. You can read a transcript at http://bit.ly/hRFtxZ.

I’ve had three items posted on the Good Men Project website this month, as follows:

• My video poem “secret children”.
• My video poem “falling though” with my accompanying written commentary about my fear of feeling and expressing grief and sadness.
• My poem “use everything” (video version is available here).

For a complete listing of all of my work on the Good Men Project site, you can visit my author page at http://goodmenproject.com/author/rick-belden.

My article “Healing Is Not for Wimps” is now featured on the website for the Good Men Project. Here is an excerpt:

Sadness scares me. Grief, the experience of grief and grieving, scares me. But I also know that grieving, that being with grief and sadness, is one of the most powerful and effective ways of being with and transforming pain. When I let my grief and my sadness speak, when I allow those energies to stir in my belly and my chest, to move up through my heart and my throat, to enter the world as tears and moans and sobbing and wailing, I am cleansed. I am lifted. I can see again. I feel real again. Human.

But entering that process is challenging for me. It’s tricky. Sensitive. I almost have to be taken by surprise. Like so many men, I’ve been conditioned not to feel such things (not directly anyway) and certainly not to express them, not even privately. The messages are clear: “Be a real man. Take charge. Control yourself. Don’t cry. Be tough. Don’t be a wimp.” If you are a man who is suffering, keep it to yourself. If you have to feel something, feel angry. Anger is manly and therefore safe to feel. Grief and sadness are not.

Grief work is hard for many of us as men, and so much has to be learned (and unlearned) in order to do it. You have to be tough and soft at the same time, and you have to be present with what you’re feeling without losing yourself in the intensity of it. It’s not easy. Healing is not for wimps. The real tough guys are the ones who can do the work …

You can read the full article here.

My article “Coming to Terms with an Absence of Elders” was published recently on the website for The ManKind Project Journal. Here’s an excerpt:

I’ve been thinking recently about the deficiency of appropriate, effective male mentoring in my life and how it’s affected me. I’m 52 and it’s still affecting me, just as it’s affected me at every stage of my life. There’s a huge hole in my life where my father should have been (and still should be), but as big as that hole is, it’s merely the center of a much larger hole, the product of a male culture that is woefully inadequate to meet the true needs of men and boys …

A second article of mine entitled “My Life with Iron Man” was also published on The ManKind Project Journal website last month. “My Life with Iron Man” was originally published on the Masculinity Movies website in October 2010 in conjunction with my review of the movie Iron Man.

My article “Broken Bones and the Father Wound” was published a few days ago on the website for the Good Men Project as one in a series of articles being posted in observance of Father’s Day. This article is an updated version of a blog post I originally wrote in November 2009 while recuperating from a broken shoulder and wrist. Many thanks to the folks at the Good Men Project for including it in their Father’s Day 2011 series.

“wild cactus dancer” by Rick Belden

Rick Belden reads a poem called “wild cactus dancer” from his upcoming book Scapegoat’s Cross: Poems about Finding and Reclaiming the Lost Man Within.

This poem is available at http://bit.ly/fErzWe. You can see more of Rick’s work at http://rickbelden.com and http://blog.rickbelden.com.

“falling through” by Rick Belden

Rick Belden reads a poem called “falling through” from his upcoming book Scapegoat’s Cross: Poems about Finding and Reclaiming the Lost Man Within.

This poem is available at http://bit.ly/idJ6fq with author’s commentary at http://bit.ly/enD3kX. You can see more of Rick’s work at http://rickbelden.com and http://blog.rickbelden.com.

“lost man” by Rick Belden

Rick Belden reads a poem called “lost man” from his upcoming book Scapegoat’s Cross: Poems about Finding and Reclaiming the Lost Man Within.

This poem is available at http://bit.ly/fFaGUx. You can see more of Rick’s work at http://rickbelden.com and http://blog.rickbelden.com.

“secret children” by Rick Belden

Rick Belden reads a poem called “secret children” from his upcoming book Scapegoat’s Cross: Poems about Finding and Reclaiming the Lost Man Within.

This poem is available at http://bit.ly/g3Iywc. You can see more of Rick’s work at http://rickbelden.com and http://blog.rickbelden.com.

Update (07/03/11): This video is now featured on the “Survivors Speaking Out” page on the MaleSurvivor website.

“use everything” by Rick Belden

Rick Belden reads a poem called “use everything” from his upcoming book Scapegoat’s Cross: Poems about Finding and Reclaiming the Lost Man Within.

This poem is available at http://bit.ly/i1ohYH. You can see more of Rick’s work at http://rickbelden.com and http://blog.rickbelden.com.